Two is company, but is three really a crowd? 

People often tell me how lucky I am to have one of each. A boy, then a girl. As if to say job done, that is all I’ll need in life.

 

“Two is company, three is a crowd, stick with what you’ve got.”

I’m not convinced.

I have always wanted a big family of my own. My own family was small. It was just me, my mum and my younger brother for the most part and my childhood was far from happy.

Life was quiet, there was no hustle and bustle and I always wished that my family was bigger.

Mr. S comes from a bigger family. He has both parents, two brothers and also a much bigger and much closer extended family.

To him it’s the norm, to me, it feels strange, but in a good way. I am happy that I have joined his family and have now become part of a bigger family myself. Something that I had always longed for.

Now that my girl is 3 years old and time is flying by, I am constantly asking myself the same question. (And nagging Mr. S)  Is this family going to get any bigger?

Personally, I would love to have another child.

In my heart, I have always had a vision of having three children. I think it would change the dynamics of our family for the better. When there is two children, they only have each other to interact with, a third child allows them to see something different.

I envy the chaotic lives of bigger families. I adore being a stay at home mum, I am very hands on, and enjoy the crafts and the activities. The joy that my children bring to my life comes second to none. A third child would be a welcome addition to the chaos for me. I need that hustle and bustle in my life.

But sadly, it’s not all singing and dancing when you look at it with your head rather than your heart. There are some things for us to consider.

  • Bigger car. We have a car which at the moment which is perfect for our current situation. But no way could we fit 3 car seats along the back row if we needed to. We would absolutely need a new car.
  • Bedrooms. We live in a 3 bedroom house. A third child would mean that two of them would have to share. What if the baby was a boy? My boy will be 7 soon that’s quite an age gap. Doesn’t seem so bad now but potentially there may be an 8 year age gap. When my boy is 15 would he want to be sharing a room with a 7 year old sibling? Would they be happy sharing a room?  Would my girl (who is very girly, into ballet, dollies, princesses and anything sparkly and/or pink) be happy to share with a child who potentially loved monsters, superheroes or spiders, regardless if they were a girl or a boy?
  • Cost. If you are a parent, you will know from experience that babies are expensive. Pram, car-seat, toys, gadgets, nappies… the list goes on. Do we want to fork out on all these things all over again?
  • Holidays and days out. Although many, many people have more than 2 children, generally hotels accommodate a for 2 adults and 2 children, and on days out 9 times out of 10 a family ticket is for entry for 2 adults and 2 children. A third child would add on the cost of these holidays and days out, meaning we may possibly have to enjoy fewer of these treats.
  • Sleep. Broken sleep makes me absolutely miserable, I need my sleep. I have never been one for late nights, I’m quite happy to go off to bed at 9.30pm some nights and I won’t stir until the morning. We were very lucky with our boy and our girl. They take after me and slept like logs all the way through until morning from 8 weeks and 11 weeks respectively. Would I be as lucky third time round?

Looking at that list, my head says no, we are done, I need to just accept that and get on with my life. But my heart still yearns to raise another child, to add more of the chaos and hustle and bustle that I love, and to complete our family.

Other people have taken the plunge, and they are managing, so why can’t we?

I hope my heart wins, i really do…

 

Mummuddlingthrough

19 Comment

  1. Do it! We’ve got three and it is constantly busy and buzzy and always something going on and now that they are teens there are always other children in the house too – it’s great. Wouldn’t change it for the world! Yes there is the problem of expense with bigger cars and holidays are a nightmare but you adapt for what is OK for your budget! Do it! #CoolMumClub

    1. I really reallllly want to! Will just have to watch this space! (and convince Mr. S!) #coolmumclub

  2. I can see both sides. It’s so difficult. I only have one at the moment. Three sounds great, but like you I’d have to be a bit practical and think things through. I hope you manage to find a way to do it #coolmumclub

    1. The thing is ive never met anyone who says “maybe we should have stopped at two after all” I can not think of anyone who has gone with their heart and regretted it in the end…. #coolmumclub xx

  3. Everyone always has something to say about the number of children you have. We have decided for many reasons to stop at one….and then there is the whole only child syndrome thing to listen to. But you’ve got to do what’s right for you. That heart and head battle is a tough one. Thanks for linking up to #coolmumclub xoxo

    1. Yep. As I said in the post, I’ve got one of each and that is all I will ever need according to the world and his wife. #coolmumclub

  4. this is such an interesting read. I didnt get to wonder about having a third because I had a surprise pregnancy when I was only 6 WEEKS post partum with my second child, so my third arrived before he even turned 1 year old! I feel like 3 is all I really know….I never got to enjoy having 2 without being pregnant or post partum really.
    And I love having 3…but I wonder about having a fourth. I dont feel done yet. But I have all the same concerns about a car (we made ours work with 3 car seats but four wont fit), the house (Weve made 3 bedrooms work as theyre all close in age, but four wont) and with holidays (weve found most places do cater for families of five, but not for 6!)…its a tough one! xx

  5. I completely understand, I am going through the similar conversations / calculations at the moment too. I would love to have another baby, I love the two of them together, they are great friends… but there’s just so much to consider. (Also, I’m no spring chicken, so we need to make a decision sooner rather than later!!)

    1. Eeek! Fingers crossed that you come to a decision that you are happy with! On one hand i think, you know what life is short and you are a long time dead, do what makes you happy and then my sensible side snaps me out of it. It is so tricky! x

  6. I guess in certain situations, you’ve just got to go with your gut feeling and do what your heart says. Good luck with your decision, it is a tough call.
    #coolmumclub

    1. Thanks! I agree. I don’t want to look back and regret that I didnt take the plunge.
      #coolmumclub

  7. I’ve got three and I wouldn’t change it. The minute my third child was born I knew I was done, but before then I had always felt incomplete. It is not practical and not cost-effective, but the third has so many hand-me-downs and the old pushchair and he doesn’t seem to mind. So money-wise, it’s probably not too bad. Kids love sharing rooms, either at home or on holidays and yes you may need to invest in an S-max (awesome car and perfect for three kids) but the benefits massively outweigh these difficulties! #coolmumclub

    1. Yep I dont feel like i am done. I know if we dont then I will live to regret it x #coolmumclub

  8. For many reasons we are done, but I would love a third! It annoys me though as people keep insisting we should have a girl as we have two boys x #coolmumclub

    1. Oh people have always got something to say, and I bet if you did have another and it was a girl you would then get people asking if you will be trying again to even things out a bit. Hah! you can never please everyone. #coolmumclub

  9. Three is the magic number! Our third was born on Valentine’s Day – I’d say go with your heart… #coolmumclub
    Crummy Mummy recently posted…Fun ways to get kids to eat more veg #adMy Profile

    1. I actually love the number 3, always have! Ah what a lovely V.day present! I found out I was pregnant with my boy on Valentines Day. Thank you for reading my post 🙂 #CoolMumClub x

  10. I knew I wasn’t done after my first two, and it took me a while to convince Mr J that we should try again but I’m so glad we have 3. Our house and car aren’t big enough, financially we go from one disaster to another, but we always manage somehow! (Coffee definitely plays a part!) Although with 3 boys people always assumed I would try for a 4th to get a girl! I feel finished now though, our family is complete. I think if we’d stuck with 2 then I’d have always longed for another.

    1. Hooray for coffee! I do long for another 🙁 x

Leave a Reply

CommentLuv badge