People often tell me how lucky I am to have one of each. A boy, then a girl. As if to say job done, that is all I’ll need in life.
“Two is company, three is a crowd, stick with what you’ve got.”
I’m not convinced.
I have always wanted a big family of my own. My own family was small. It was just me, my mum and my younger brother for the most part and my childhood was far from happy.
Life was quiet, there was no hustle and bustle and I always wished that my family was bigger.
Mr. S comes from a bigger family. He has both parents, two brothers and also a much bigger and much closer extended family.
To him it’s the norm, to me, it feels strange, but in a good way. I am happy that I have joined his family and have now become part of a bigger family myself. Something that I had always longed for.
Now that my girl is 3 years old and time is flying by, I am constantly asking myself the same question. (And nagging Mr. S) Is this family going to get any bigger?
Personally, I would love to have another child.
In my heart, I have always had a vision of having three children. I think it would change the dynamics of our family for the better. When there is two children, they only have each other to interact with, a third child allows them to see something different.
I envy the chaotic lives of bigger families. I adore being a stay at home mum, I am very hands on, and enjoy the crafts and the activities. The joy that my children bring to my life comes second to none. A third child would be a welcome addition to the chaos for me. I need that hustle and bustle in my life.
But sadly, it’s not all singing and dancing when you look at it with your head rather than your heart. There are some things for us to consider.
- Bigger car. We have a car which at the moment which is perfect for our current situation. But no way could we fit 3 car seats along the back row if we needed to. We would absolutely need a new car.
- Bedrooms. We live in a 3 bedroom house. A third child would mean that two of them would have to share. What if the baby was a boy? My boy will be 7 soon that’s quite an age gap. Doesn’t seem so bad now but potentially there may be an 8 year age gap. When my boy is 15 would he want to be sharing a room with a 7 year old sibling? Would they be happy sharing a room? Would my girl (who is very girly, into ballet, dollies, princesses and anything sparkly and/or pink) be happy to share with a child who potentially loved monsters, superheroes or spiders, regardless if they were a girl or a boy?
- Cost. If you are a parent, you will know from experience that babies are expensive. Pram, car-seat, toys, gadgets, nappies… the list goes on. Do we want to fork out on all these things all over again?
- Holidays and days out. Although many, many people have more than 2 children, generally hotels accommodate a for 2 adults and 2 children, and on days out 9 times out of 10 a family ticket is for entry for 2 adults and 2 children. A third child would add on the cost of these holidays and days out, meaning we may possibly have to enjoy fewer of these treats.
- Sleep. Broken sleep makes me absolutely miserable, I need my sleep. I have never been one for late nights, I’m quite happy to go off to bed at 9.30pm some nights and I won’t stir until the morning. We were very lucky with our boy and our girl. They take after me and slept like logs all the way through until morning from 8 weeks and 11 weeks respectively. Would I be as lucky third time round?
Looking at that list, my head says no, we are done, I need to just accept that and get on with my life. But my heart still yearns to raise another child, to add more of the chaos and hustle and bustle that I love, and to complete our family.
Other people have taken the plunge, and they are managing, so why can’t we?
I hope my heart wins, i really do…